Dana Lyons
Cows With Guns
This is a real song and is cowpat hot
If you have Real Audio go to
http://www.cowswithguns.com to listenCows With Guns
Fat and docile, big and dumb They look so stupid, they aren't much fun (pause) Cows aren't fun
They eat to grow, grow to die Die to be et at the hamburger fry (pause) Cows well done
Nobody thunk it, nobody knew No one imagined the great cow guru (pause) Cows are one
He hid in the forest, read books with great zeal He loved Che Guevera, a revolutionary veal (pause) Cow Se Tongue
He spoke about justice, but nobody stirred He felt like an outcast, alone in the herd (pause) Cow doldrums
He mooed we must fight, escape or we'll die Cows gathered around, cause the steaks were so high (pause) Bad cow pun
But then he was captured, stuffed into a crate Loaded onto a truck, where he rode to his fate (pause) Cows are bummed
He was a scrawny calf, who looked rather woozy No one suspected he was packing an Uzi (pause) Cows with guns
They came witha needle to stick in his thigh He kicked for the groin, he pissed in their eye (pause) Cow well hung
Knocked over a tractor and ran for the door Six gallons of gas flowed out on the floor Run cows run!
He picked up a bullhorn and jumped up on the hay We are free roving bovines, we run free today
We will fight for bovine freedom And hold our large heads high We will run free with the Buffalo, or die Cows with guns
They crashed the gate in a great stampede Tipped over a milk truck, torched all the feed (pause) Cows have fun
Sixty police cars were piled in a heap Covered in cow pies, covered up deep (pause) Much cow dung
Black smoke rising, darkening the day Twelve burning McDonalds, have it your way The President said "enough is enough These uppity cattle, its time to get tough" Cow dung flung
The newspapers gloated, folks sighed with relief Tomorrow at noon, they would all be ground beef (pause) Cows on buns
The cows were surrounded, they waited and prayed They mooed their last moos, they chewed their last hay (pause) Cows outgunned
The order was given to turn cows to whoppers Enforced by the might of ten thousand coppers But on the horizon surrounding the shoppers Came the deafening roar of chickens in choppers.